by LSG_Amarra Thu Aug 18, 2016 5:53 pmPoison
Her core shuddered and ached as she laid in her bed, trying not to hear the tiny wisps of breath. It wasn't real. It wasn't there. If she kept her eyes closed, if she kept quiet enough, it would disappear from existence. She would wake up tomorrow and everything would be as it was before everything fell apart.
A coo, barely a sound behind her, sent her into a fit of tears. Nausea gurgled in her gut. She pleaded to any deity that would listen, just for it not to wake up. It had been screaming for days, and she was forced to hold it and feed it. A being that had no emotion aside from pure, unhindered rage, and she was expected to love it.
She held in any sound of her sobbing behind her hands. What had she done wrong to deserve this fate? To carry an unwanted child and be stared at everywhere she went. The whispers they thought she couldn't hear sending tendrils of ice up her spine. And then the pain - Oh, Blessed Creator, the pain. She wished she had just died instead; That maybe once she would just not wake up after passing out from pain. To drift and finally be free.
A whine squeaked out of her as it made more noise. Her muscles quaked with another sob. The room was far too warm for the nausea sitting in her stomach. She didn't know whether she would scream or be sick if she opened her mouth.
And then the room stilled.
Silence. Was it gone? No. It cooed and shifted before being still and silent. It was still there.
It was still there.
Rage bubbled up inside, boiling and burning in her gut. She hated it, she wished it would die. It... would be a service, really...
It was just as much a victim as she was. It no more wanted to live more than she wanted it to be alive. A world filled with terror and pain would only crush this tiny soul. Yes... It made sense.
She pushed herself up from the bed without a sound. It would be quick. Merciful. The world would have it suffer, but this way it wouldn't even know it was in pain before... She slid the drawer of her nightstand open and pulled out her dagger, her feet padding to the crib. Light poured in through the window, illuminating the tiny form within the crib; It's hair a blood red, and it's skin pallor and flawless.
So tiny. So soft. It didn't need to suffer. "Mercy." She told herself, and the word echoed in her sick mind as the blade rose above the infant.
A neigh shrieked through the silence of the night, followed by others. Her eyes flung to the window but she only saw darkness. And soon the child followed suit.
It wailed, a pitiful, terror filled sound. A sound that sent ice through her chest. "No, no, please!" She squeaked, as the tears started to well, "Don't wake up. Please." Once more she cried with the babe. She dropped the dagger on the floor and picked up the child, trying to lull it back to sleep. But try as she might, whatever scared the horses hadn't left, and the sound continued until she was on her knees, begging the child to be silent. It was afraid.
She was afraid.
Footsteps travelled down the hall and she panicked. She slid the dagger back towards the bed, hoping it was concealed. They couldn't see what she had almost done. She almost...
"Marri...?" She hadn't heard the door open. How could she have? The child only got louder the longer she was held. But it was all the child could do, it was defenceless. So tiny. So soft.
"Toma." She whispered, praying she didn't make it worse. "Make it stop. Please! What am I supposed to do?" Disgust mixed with the hot sickness in her stomach. Another wail pierced through her and reminded her that she had failed. She sucked in a breath, only to let it out in another sob.
"I don't know, Nesa... I'm sorry." She heard footsteps; She didn't need to look to know it was her brother, no one would move that quickly to her side. She didn't look up, and didn't even bother to continue listening. She only knew life continued past her and the child when it was ripped from her arms, and the screams vanished.
"Amarra, what did you do..?" His whisper was much too loud in the silence. "Marri, What. Did. You. Do?!" He knelt in front of her and yanked her shoulders up. Her neck went limp, all of the energy draining out and turning into tears. She wouldn't meet his angry gaze.
"I don't know." She mumbled, her lip trembling, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Her head found his shoulder as he pulled her in to hold her. Wolves howled in the distance, echoing her wails of sorrow and self loathing...
Her core shuddered and ached as she laid in her bed, trying not to hear the tiny wisps of breath. It wasn't real. It wasn't there. If she kept her eyes closed, if she kept quiet enough, it would disappear from existence. She would wake up tomorrow and everything would be as it was before everything fell apart.
A coo, barely a sound behind her, sent her into a fit of tears. Nausea gurgled in her gut. She pleaded to any deity that would listen, just for it not to wake up. It had been screaming for days, and she was forced to hold it and feed it. A being that had no emotion aside from pure, unhindered rage, and she was expected to love it.
She held in any sound of her sobbing behind her hands. What had she done wrong to deserve this fate? To carry an unwanted child and be stared at everywhere she went. The whispers they thought she couldn't hear sending tendrils of ice up her spine. And then the pain - Oh, Blessed Creator, the pain. She wished she had just died instead; That maybe once she would just not wake up after passing out from pain. To drift and finally be free.
A whine squeaked out of her as it made more noise. Her muscles quaked with another sob. The room was far too warm for the nausea sitting in her stomach. She didn't know whether she would scream or be sick if she opened her mouth.
And then the room stilled.
Silence. Was it gone? No. It cooed and shifted before being still and silent. It was still there.
It was still there.
Rage bubbled up inside, boiling and burning in her gut. She hated it, she wished it would die. It... would be a service, really...
It was just as much a victim as she was. It no more wanted to live more than she wanted it to be alive. A world filled with terror and pain would only crush this tiny soul. Yes... It made sense.
She pushed herself up from the bed without a sound. It would be quick. Merciful. The world would have it suffer, but this way it wouldn't even know it was in pain before... She slid the drawer of her nightstand open and pulled out her dagger, her feet padding to the crib. Light poured in through the window, illuminating the tiny form within the crib; It's hair a blood red, and it's skin pallor and flawless.
So tiny. So soft. It didn't need to suffer. "Mercy." She told herself, and the word echoed in her sick mind as the blade rose above the infant.
A neigh shrieked through the silence of the night, followed by others. Her eyes flung to the window but she only saw darkness. And soon the child followed suit.
It wailed, a pitiful, terror filled sound. A sound that sent ice through her chest. "No, no, please!" She squeaked, as the tears started to well, "Don't wake up. Please." Once more she cried with the babe. She dropped the dagger on the floor and picked up the child, trying to lull it back to sleep. But try as she might, whatever scared the horses hadn't left, and the sound continued until she was on her knees, begging the child to be silent. It was afraid.
She was afraid.
Footsteps travelled down the hall and she panicked. She slid the dagger back towards the bed, hoping it was concealed. They couldn't see what she had almost done. She almost...
"Marri...?" She hadn't heard the door open. How could she have? The child only got louder the longer she was held. But it was all the child could do, it was defenceless. So tiny. So soft.
"Toma." She whispered, praying she didn't make it worse. "Make it stop. Please! What am I supposed to do?" Disgust mixed with the hot sickness in her stomach. Another wail pierced through her and reminded her that she had failed. She sucked in a breath, only to let it out in another sob.
"I don't know, Nesa... I'm sorry." She heard footsteps; She didn't need to look to know it was her brother, no one would move that quickly to her side. She didn't look up, and didn't even bother to continue listening. She only knew life continued past her and the child when it was ripped from her arms, and the screams vanished.
"Amarra, what did you do..?" His whisper was much too loud in the silence. "Marri, What. Did. You. Do?!" He knelt in front of her and yanked her shoulders up. Her neck went limp, all of the energy draining out and turning into tears. She wouldn't meet his angry gaze.
"I don't know." She mumbled, her lip trembling, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Her head found his shoulder as he pulled her in to hold her. Wolves howled in the distance, echoing her wails of sorrow and self loathing...
