Inspiration Without Fear

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    In Inceptum Finis Est - Shifters

    LSG_Amarra
    LSG_Amarra


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    Post by LSG_Amarra Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:25 pm



    In Inceptum Finis Est

    Latin: lit; 'in the beginning is the end'


    The Beginning Foreshadows the End

    In Inceptum Finis Est - Shifters Burnin11



    Smoke billowed in the night sky, making it even darker, and the light of the fire seem even more brilliant. Ashes still burned in her throat and stung her eyes - or at least that would be what she would say, should anyone ask why she was crying. Yet, her eyes stayed locked on the flames that tore through Estëmen. She couldn't - wouldn't -  look away from it.

    Her home. Everything she had ever known for so long. People who she had known her whole life now laid bleeding in the streets. Another stream of tears made a new track down her dirty face. She had tried so hard; She was so ready to serve her homeland, her people, just like her uncle. She had taken down a couple of invaders. It didn't matter what they claimed their cause to be. Murderers, the voice inside spat bitterly. Her shoulder still ached from where she had fallen down a few steps, only to be met by the glossy, empty eyes of a child, still being clung to by an eerily still mother. Innocents.

    She could have done something. She should have fought harder, or run faster - Anything. No matter how much they told her she couldn't do more, how she would die, or how much poppy powder they blew in her face, deep in her heart she knew she could have turned the tide.

    Her brows drew closer at the age old argument as another building collapsed and fell beyond the wall. She knew she could be great. She could save so many people, and yet they continued to try to protect her, just because of who they claimed to pursue. But Eva meant well, and Nilo followed in motive, and Art fought so hard to help her. Their help, their concern, their love; It all smothered her. She could have saved her home if she had just stayed. Her eyes fell to her covered wrist, her hands still tied in front of her. 'They can't even trust me enough to untie me.' Rightly so. She would run all the way back. She would fight until she swung at nothing but ashes.

    Even if she had died... It wouldn't be less than what she deserved. Heretics were being hunted in the streets of her home. She was being hunted. Maybe if she had died for her people, she would be forgiven. The shock of tears falling onto her arm pulled her from her internal struggle. She turned her head, her back cracking from being still so long. They trekked up the mountain, away from the city, on horseback; Eva and Nilo beside them, her riding back to back with Arturo.

    "Eva." She muttered. She knew it was useless and childish. However, It was the only thing that was echoing in her mind. "I need to go back." Her voice rose until the hoarseness in her throat clawed at her words. But she wouldn't be silent. " Untie me, I need to fight!!" She pleaded. Hopeless. Maybe if she fought hard enough, she would win. Maybe if she kept fighting, she could beat this, and she would be free...

    So Childish.
    Cat
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    Post by Cat Sat Jul 30, 2016 10:30 pm

    Fear.

    Overwhelming fear. Thousands of souls, crying out for help. So many voices, calling out in the darkness, and then ceasing,never to be heard again. She heard their cries, the laments.

    Evandra quaked in her saddle, hardly noticing her surroundings. She subconsciously followed behind the others, her head bowed low.

    Her feet had pounded through the streets of Estëmen, and she called their names. Where were they? Muddled voices had called through her mind, but none of them hers, none of them were her loved ones.

    She cast them aside.

    But the moment there was silence. The unholy silence. The cries of the afflicted came upon her in full force. Thousands of thoughts, all crying out in different ways. And she shut them out.

    What time had gone by, Evandra would never know. Slowly, she lifted her head, and gripped the reins tighter. Her eye twitched, but no tears came. No, tears would never have sufficed. But she never looked back. She would not turn her head.

    "Eva."

    Her eyes snapped to Liniel. She prodded her horse forward, not even glancing sideways at Nilo. She didn't need his sympathy right now. One worried look, or a word of solace, and she'd probably burst into tears. She tilted her head as Lin plead, her eyes expressionless, though her face wore a frown.

    She stared for a moment. The grip she held on her reins still shook. Until she finally found her voice."Hundreds of voices just fell silent forever. Do you wish to join them? Do you wish to echo their dying cries?"

    LSG_Amarra
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    Post by LSG_Amarra Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:27 pm

    "I'm trying to prevent more!!" She screeched in Elvish, her voice cracking into tiny pieces. More tears came, but now she didn't care. How could she... How dare she be so heartless? "I stepped over people who I've known since I was tiny! They're killing innocent people! They don't want heretics! They don't care!! Why aren't you turning back?! Why don't you want to help them?!" She kicked and threw her arms, twisting at her bindings. Screaming. She screamed for every ounce of desire for altruism that rested deep in her soul, for every innocent that couldn't any longer, for every bit of fear the living still felt, and for every flaming second of frustration at her helplessness.

    A sob wheezed out of her as she finally stilled, her voice finally squeaking silent as she wore out the last of its strength. Why was she saved, when she couldn't save anyone else? Why was she still alive when people she knew had already gasped for their last breath? She would have exhausted all of her energy, but she should have been their hero. Ashes raked her lungs, the coughing that followed making her hurt even worse. Had Mamae and Nana gotten out? Was Her Aunt okay? Loanne?

    She remembered the guard who wept at her uncle's funeral, one of his best friends. Then the image of his intestines laying in her beloved garden spot burned a new spot in her mind. The Baker who had snuck her treats against her family's request, murdered by his own tools. Blood staining the bread still waiting to be served. Who would be next now that she wasn't there?

    "Those voices were friends." She breathed, "Neighbors. In-No-Cents." She spat the word, maybe that would get through her stubborn, thick head that this was wrong. "The one time I'm not trying to be a brat, but no!" She kicked the air, nearly falling off the horse in the process. "We can't have that, can we?! I'm such a disappointment, but the one time I can help, you drug me and drag me away!"

    Rage flowed freely within her. "You took me away from my home! And now it's dying!"
    Lost Caravan
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    Post by Lost Caravan Tue Aug 02, 2016 11:52 am

    Death. The young man had seen much of it in his rather short life. The death of his brother, the death of his first beloved, the death of his adopted family, and the death of friends he had cherished undying. But this... This was a sin the boy had never seen... A sin his brother had sheltered him from and protected his developing mind from. Genocide is what one would call this... The genocide of a people for no true reason.

    Within the walls, the mad men were fierce. They were wicked and merciless. He had a one track mind when it came to the people close to him... He had loss too many cherished ones to sacrifice them for a moral code that he couldn't uphold too in a situation like this. Flames sapped Zinnian's powers, and his pyromancy was still in training. Any flames he would produce would just add to the fire rather than direct it away from others. It was a hopeless situation.

    The drugging was something he felt was necessary... It had to be done. Liniel was rash, young, emotional... Not to mention the bestial blood running through her veins. What if she fought, and the blood surged a transformation? She'd be without rational thought and could be hunted in the flames like a common beast if she didn't accidentally trap herself within a wall of fire. She wasn't thinking... They couldn't do anything by themselves. With what little skill they had, most of them would rely solely on Zinnian... But, the flames devoured shadows, leaving her defenseless in most scenarios.

    He was rather deep in thought. He couldn't really keep a rather tame stream of 'what ifs' and 'what could haves.' He had been so scared... And had acted so rashly. He decided for Liniel what would happen, and that made him sick. He hated doing that... Who was he to decide someone's fate? It was a sin in his mind. An unforgivable one that he had committed more than once when it came to the one he called his sister. Why did he feel he was so responsible for her...? What made him defy her rash wishes every time she had one?

    His thoughts were cut short with Zi's arrival next to him. She'd keep a rather steady pace beside him, the hem of her dress disappearing into the shadows the horse was casting. She's stay silent for the most part, not wishing to speak about the events. They were horrible. And that was that. There was no point in meditating on them, but it seemed that was all this group was doing. What idiocy, in her mind. Though, the horrors she had faced had made her heart cold towards strangers... But it didn't matter to her. What mattered was that Nilo and Evandra were safe and their friends had made it out safely.

    "Our father wishes to speak with us about these events, Nilo. I would advise leaving for the Red Duchy post haste." she'd say quietly as to not disturb the rather loud screams Liniel was producing. The young man would blink once before shaking his head. Of course he'd wish to see him... Now of all times in a situation like this... Well, it would be good to have a safe place to stay... It seemed like the group needed that.

    "Your home isn't dead. Don't say that! Do you have such little hope in your people that you'd imagine them all dead due to this? They'll survive. They've survived this long and they will come out of this fine... But we can't throw ourselves into a fight we can't win or influence at all." he'd say with a stern voice, auburn eyes gently glowing in the shadows. She was so narrow minded... How could she just give up all hope on the situation? How could she just sacrifice herself to people who wouldn't even notice her presence. Their involvement wouldn't change anything. Even if they some how dowsed the fires and some how defeated every mad man in there, people were still dead. And people were still scarred by this event. As sad as it was... Some people would rather die than fight the fight they would soon come across. Fate was cruel, but it always had a brighter end. He had to believe in that... He had to believe only good come out of this.
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    Post by Cat Tue Aug 02, 2016 2:57 pm

    "I know! Do you think me some careless wretch, Liniel?" Evandra snapped back. "I saved you, because you were the only ones I could save, Lin! I can't save everyone- and neither can you." She pulled her horse aside to ride a little away from the group, her head down. Sniffling, she waited a moment before she continued.

    "Listen to Nilo. There is nothing we could have done. It would have made no difference to them whether we lived or died back there, none! You can't live your life with a bleeding heart, because in the end, no one else will care."

    Eva glanced back to Nilo. He was surprisingly vocal in this conversation. She almost huffed aloud upon spotting Zi. Quickly, Eva jerked her head forward, trying to push a tirade of angry thoughts from her mind. Of course, Zi was probably unmoved by the carnage. She'd probably caused worse in her life. A small shudder ran through her as she tried to shove away the recollection of Zi 'dispatching' the Orc camp where Arturo had been imprisoned.

    She genuinely understood Lochannar's loathing of the woman- or whatever she was. But she would never understand why Nilo wasn't repulsed by her. Eva fell silent. She didn't care to talk to anyone- especially now that Zi was present.
    LSG_Amarra
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    Post by LSG_Amarra Fri Aug 05, 2016 8:46 pm

    "I know! I know I can't save everyone." She glared at the back of Eva's head, occasionally wandering to glare at Nilo and Zi. "But can I really be faulted for trying?!" The words stuck in her throat and hung in the air, but she choked them out. "I should have been dead years ago, Ev. You and I both know that." She could have died a dozen times. They all could have, but her... It always seemed so close. "I should have died... but I'm not, for some dumb reason. If you think I'm not grateful, then who the in the void have you been speaking to, because it hasn't been me."

    She turned and went back to leaning against Arturo, staring at the ever shrinking city. "But I, at least, believe in myself. What happened to that, Ev? You say I'm not a monster, that I don't deserve death," Acid dripped from what was left of her voice. "Yet when I try to prove it to myself, you can't seem to find any faith in me." She didn't mean that.... But it was too late. Her heart weighed heavy as the flames continued to burn in her home.

    It hurt. Everything hurt. Her home was torched, her neighbors were murdered by invaders, she had been dragged away from all of it. She had no choice to fight or flee. It had already been made for her, even as she watched children get cut down. They loved her, but why couldn't they see that she needed to do this?
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    Post by Lost Caravan Sat Aug 06, 2016 12:17 pm

    He'd bite his tongue quite strongly, blood seeping out of the indentation he was creating on his tongue. People saying they should die... He hated that. The mere thought that someone would allow themselves to believe they deserved death, that they should be dead... It infuriated and made him feel useless all at the same time. It reminded him of Ruga... The closest person too him they have ever had.

    "If you're so willing to die, then you're selfish, Liniel." the boy would say in a harsh tone, his auburn eyes looking towards Liniel. He was about to shut down... But he wouldn't allow himself to do that. Not now. He couldn't just hide away from all the stress, all the things he didn't like.

    "Committing suicidal acts... That proves nothing. That shows that you don't care about the people you love. It shows that you only care about yourself. People do it to 'save' people... But to whom are you wanting to save, Liniel? What are you trying to achieve? What are you trying to prove to someone who doesn't already know what kind of person you are? Don't talk like we don't trust you. Don't talk like we don't love you. You were willing to throw your life away for nothing and leave us alone." he'd say with a cold voice. Nothing. It was all for nothing. Fighting for who? Her deceased neighbors? When was the last time she really knew those people? She had been with them for so long, and then had been kidnapped by those vile wolves... What connection was she making? It didn't make sense to him.

    "We would... Have missed you horrendously, Lin... We couldn't have just left you there to prove nothing. Why would you throw your life away so readily? Do you not care about us...? Are you so willing to throw away your faith in us just so we could let you die? We have something more than faith in you, Liniel... We love you. And we will always believe in your abilities... But if you're willing to throw your life away so easily like that... T-Then you've made the wrong friends." the young man would say with a shake of his head, looking away into the darkness. He was tired... He was so tired of running and so tired of fighting... So many conflicting views all centered around a sense of unity. But a unity of what...? What united them so strongly aside from hardships that had crippled their faith in one another? It scared him... It scared him so much none of them could seem to see eye to eye.
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    Post by Cat Mon Aug 08, 2016 8:33 pm

    Evandra remained silent. She stared ahead and chewed on her lower lip, and wished so that this hadn't happened. Misfortune and tragedy followed her at every bend in the road; and there was no avoiding it. Some people were just born with tragedy in their blood. She twisted the reins around her thumb numbly as she listened to Nilo. She rolled Lin's vehement retorts through her mind.

    And she considered ignoring them. Lin was caught up in the anguish, fear, and adrenaline of the horror- she wasn't thinking straight. At least Nilo had enough sense.  But he was a little off. Suicidal? Not quite.

    Eva sighed. "So, you believe in yourself, and yet you have to prove your worth to yourself," she retorted sardonically. "If you really believe something, you don't have to prove it, Lin. No drastic measures, no amazing feats, and no risks. Nothing has to be proven."

    She didn't even turn her head. Not once did she glance back to Lin or Nilo. "Sometimes, when you care about someone, you have to be the voice of reason. 'Faithful are the wounds of a friend,' Liniel. Because a true friend will do something against you for your own good. It may be hard truth when you just want flattery. It may be holding you back from making a mistake. It may be pulling you away from an error you believe to be true, and at that moment, it consumes you."

    She drew a long, deep huff. "I have no faith in you. Say it all you like, Lin. Because right now, it's true. Faith. It's overused. And I know right now, putting faith in someone who isn't thinking straight isn't a good idea. Trusting blindly will get either you, or someone else in trouble."

    "And to say you should have died many a time before is foolish. The same can be said for anyone. Change one event, and someone may have died,. But they didn't. There have been so many times where I should have died, but I didn't. And many times, it was because of my own rash behavior. And sometimes I didn't like what my friends did to save me." She finally glanced back to Lin. "So you know what? I should be dead, too. A dozen times over. That is never an excuse."
    LSG_Amarra
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    Post by LSG_Amarra Thu Aug 11, 2016 5:07 pm

    At this, Liniel finally went silent. She couldn't fight anymore, not between the two of them buckling down on her. Her ego shrunk, leaving her bare of any previous bluster. The anger and pride left her. Now was only fear and sadness.


    In Inceptum Finis Est - Shifters Fire_e10

    One last stream of tears dripped down her face as her home became shrouded in the forest encasing them. She could just barely see the aftermath leaving its mark on the clouds; flickering hues of orange and yellow, the last dying lights of the burning inferno. Darkness surrounded her both around her and inward.

    "I just.... wanted to help..." She whispered.
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    Post by Lost Caravan Thu Aug 18, 2016 3:03 pm

    Why was she always so reckless? No one wanted to just cause more havoc, more pain. They all wanted to help, but the plain truth that them helping wouldn't do anything. If anything, them helping would just add too the pain of the situation. It was such a thick headed, vain comment... And it made him mad.

    He didn't want to talk anymore. He was tired and exhausted. He didn't want to delve into his anger. Simple words like that were said in a weak defense... They weren't meant to make him mad. They weren't even directed at him. But, the mere fact she'd use such words... It made him mad. They all wanted to help, no one wanted to just leave.

    "If I may speak, we should put forth our effort to make camp soon. Getting to the Red Duchy won't be easy now... We will need rest to make the necessary march tomorrow." the shadow would say, making her way too the front of the group and looking into the darkness around them. They had a good pace, and the city was falling behind them. It would be wise to make camp while they still could.
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    Post by Cat Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:25 pm

    Evandra urged her horse forward. She glared at the ground, and didn't even bother to glance at Zi. In her current state, she wanted to deliver her most scathing sneer, and then speed ahead n the path. Leave them behind and be truly, blessedly, alone.

    But of course not. She heaved a sigh and twisted in the saddle. She surveyed their small band of travelers. Three horses, four--maybe five, including Zi-- people. And a good ways to travel up north to the Dutchy. And very unfamiliar terrain. She bit her lip. She'd never left Cronane before, but far be it from Evandra to admit nervousness in the wilderness, her favorite sanctuary.

    "Fine." She tossed her braid over her shoulder and eyed Zi coolly. This was going to be a long trip. She drew a deep breath and, for the first time since their departure, looked back toward Estemen. This was going to be a restless night, she knew for sure.
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    Post by LSG_Amarra Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:30 pm

    Lin didn't sleep. It didn't matter, the rest of the trip she was silent.

    They slept, and rode on in the morning, but the dawn brought rain. In the distance, lingering smoke trailed and mixed with the storm clouds. The fires were finally out, and the elven city still stood.

    They rode on in near silence, traveling through the forests that lead to the Red Dutchy. Only then did they find out the fate of The Estëmen people; The invaders were defeated late in the night, never finding whoever they searched for. Homes were burned down and businesses ransacked in the chaos. It took days for the city to clean the streets of bodies and blood, but eventually the marble walkways were once again pure white. The civilians that had fled started to return, and began to rebuild.

    The guards, already short in numbers, were spread thin as the leaders pushed for more protection. In a matter of days, they were overworked and exhausted. The council moved to request aid from Eiwrith, but no word had been heard back when the group arrived in the Red Dutchy.

    The people mourned and held memorials and funerals, and a gathering was held at the base steps of the Council Hall where the Council members and city leaders spoke and mourned with their people.

    The city was shaken, but not cut down. Their lives would go on.

    But now the group looked forward, hoping to put the horrific experience behind them.

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